Entrepreneur, Author, Content Creator with 9M+ followers across platforms. I share this newsletter every Friday around personal growth, books, quotes, pictures - it is the most personal version of me online.
warikoo Wanderings
You can share this newsletter on WhatsApp, Twitter, LinkedIn, or view it on the web.
You can view all previous newsletters here.
SHARED EXPERIENCES
Do you have friends?
Really close ones?
Chances are they are from your school or college.
Why is that?
Why do we end up not making as fierce or as intense a friendship later, as we do early on in our lives?
You might argue it is because we are early in our lives, we have known them for the longest, etc.
But then - it is ALSO very common to realize that we have outgrown our school or college friends.
We don't relate to them anymore.
We are either not in touch with them, or even if we call them friends chances are we are in it just for politeness sake!
What actually makes a relationship work?
The most important thing in my opinion is what I call - SHARED EXPERIENCES.
Think about it - every relationship ultimately is about sharing experiences.
Doing things together, realizing you have experienced something together.
Not just friendship - every relationship.
The one you have with your parents, your siblings, your friends, your batchmates, your colleagues.
The nature of your relationship is, thus, an outcome of these shared experiences. Specifically two things:
Here is a trivial example.
Let's say when you were young, you and your then best friend went to a book stall. And you ended up stealing a book from there.
You know, just for fun!
It was a shared experience.
Back then - both of you joked about it, thought it was really cool, it was fun. All those things.
Now that you are grown up, you look back at that incident and your interpretation of that moment is guilt and embarrassment. You are NOT proud of who you were back then.
Your friend, on the other hand, thinks you were awesome, bold, courageous, a rebel.
Same shared experience - dramatically different interpretations.
Now extend it to anything.
You and your manager shared an experience.
You felt you gave it your best.
Your manager felt it was lazy work!
It doesn't take a genius to conclude - this shared experience is going to hamper the relationship.
You and your parents shared an experience.
You wanted to take a gap year to explore.
Your parents felt it was stupid to do so.
That's a shared experience which will weaken the relationship.
Summarized
The key to making relationships healthy is then two-fold:
1. Have as many shared experiences as possible
2. If these experiences have divergent interpretations, then communicate. That is the ONLY WAY.
What we end up doing instead, is shut down those shared experiences.
"I do not want to talk about this ever" == "This shared experience did not happen ever"
Which means, the strength of the relationship has weakened.
Do not shut down communication in relationships.
Have that hard talk.
Save that relationship, if you truly care about it.
BOOK I AM READING THIS WEEK
Still reading Cold Steel (it's a long book) - which is the takeover story of Mittal Steel (Lakshmi Mittal) taking over Arcelor.
Brilliantly fast paced book. Loving it so far!
I am also excited about the next few books I have purchased and will pick next. More when I share my current read next week :)
Do Epic Shit is FINALLY in audio (yay!).
I had an awesome time recording it in my voice and it is exclusively on Audible.
If you are into audiobooks - consider listening to this one :)
adbl.co/doepicshit
If you prefer printed books then pick up the book in English (Hardcover, Paperback, Kindle) Hindi, Marathi and Tamil.
200,000+ copies sold.
5 more languages coming up! (Including Portuguese)
QUOTES TO SHARE
You are never going to respect yourself until you are angry at someone else for taking it away.
(Share on Twitter)
You cannot make someone love you by giving them more of something they do not appreciate.
(Share on Twitter)
Only you truly know how much you are struggling. Everyone else just sees the results.
(Share on Twitter)
RESPONSES TO LAST WEEK'S QUESTION
Last week I asked you:
Do you know what's special about you?
Here are the responses:
Observations:
My response?
I know what is special about me. That I know myself really well. And I can sit with my own thoughts and work through my own feelings. That is a superpower :)
PICTURE OF THE WEEK
This Saturday we went to Qutub Minar Complex in Delhi for our heritage walk. I hadn't been to the monument before (crazy, staying in Delhi for 40+ years!) and it was just stunning, particularly at night.
Of course the history of the place is so rich - which so many centuries and their stories embedded in this small area. A must visit, especially with a heritage walker!
Every week Ruchi and I go for a lunch together. Here is one from this week, which I particularly liked. I rarely share personal pics, so take this as an exception :)
QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Which is the best quarter of the year for you, mostly?
Reason could be anything - weather, money wise, mood wise, health wise.
Click here to let me know your answer (anonymously)
CONTENT I SHARED THIS WEEK
Podcast:
Who are you?
Spotify, Amazon Music, Google Podcast, Apple Podcast, JioSaavn, Gaana or YouTube.
YouTube:
21 ways to win at your job
You can watch it here.
Instagram:
3 ways you impress people
You can watch it here.
Twitter:
10 Toxic behaviors that people exhibit
You can read it here.
You can, of course, always write to me by simply replying to this newsletter.
I love reading all your emails, even though I may not be able to reply to them all.
Yes! I READ ALL MY EMAILS. ALL OF THEM.
(Navratri mein poori halwa chole khate rehna, khate rehna, khate rehna - ki kasam!)
You can share this newsletter on WhatsApp, Twitter, LinkedIn, or view it on the web.
by Ankur Warikoo
Entrepreneur, Author, Content Creator with 9M+ followers across platforms. I share this newsletter every Friday around personal growth, books, quotes, pictures - it is the most personal version of me online.
There are 3 kinds of vacations 1) Where you do things in excess that you have done back at home as well. Party, sleep, chill, dance, eat. I call them escapes. Not vacations.They are escapes from your current life. Most vacations lie in this category. 2) Where you do things that you could have ONLY done where you have gone. Sightseeing, top restaurants, top experiences. These vacations are memories. They are not a blur. They are a moment. Something you will remember and cherish for a while....
There are 3 kinds of vacations 1) Where you do things in excess that you have done back at home as well. Party, sleep, chill, dance, eat. I call them escapes. Not vacations.They are escapes from your current life. Most vacations lie in this category. 2) Where you do things that you could have ONLY done where you have gone. Sightseeing, top restaurants, top experiences. These vacations are memories. They are not a blur. They are a moment. Something you will remember and cherish for a while....
3 things I learnt from Sahil Bloom Last week, I hosted Sahil Bloom on his first-ever visit to Delhi. We started with a breakfast information catchup with founders and creators.In the evening, we had a large gathering at the Bharat Mandapam with 1,000+ people.As I spent time with him, I observed 3 things about Sahil that stuck. Walk the talkSahil is one of the most disciplined people I have met. He shares a lot of wisdom through social media — either through Twitter, Instagram, his newsletter,...