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warikoo Wanderings

Don't know how to handle failure?

Published about 1 year ago • 5 min read

warikoo Wanderings

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My new book - Get Epic Shit Done - is now out. Get your copy here.
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FAILURE IS A MUSCLE

The other day I was at an event in Bangalore speaking on stage, and one of the audience members asked me this question.
"It seems, Ankur, your life has had multiple twists and turns. Let's say failures by the definition of what the world calls a failure. You went to the U.S. to do a Ph.D. then you dropped out, came back to India and then you applied to so many business schools. Didn't get through them, and then of course, made it happen. Then you applied to so many consulting firms, didn't make it happen. And then one of them happened and you went on to start on your own. Then you started Nearbuy as well. That wasn't also that great a success.
If I were in your position, I would not even know how to get up and to pull myself out of that mental, emotional, and psychological state that I would be in.
How do you deal with failure and how do you make it sound like it's very easy to deal with?"

Here is the truth:
It is never easy to deal with failure the first time.
Think about it like going to the gym.
When you go to the gym for the first day and you workout, whether it's running on the treadmill or it's doing weights or it's anything else - your body is sore at the end of the day, right?
It's screaming - I don't want to go through this pain. Please don't do this again.

And the ONLY THING that gets you out of the pain is to show up again tomorrow.
That's it.
There's nothing else that eliminates the pain.
The best way for you to actually get used to the pain so that there is no pain left anymore and you're not dependent on something external, such as a medicine to cure yourself of it, is to show up at the gym every single day.

Let's take another example.
Let's say you're trying to learn something new, completely new.
Say a musical instrument, or maybe singing or maybe an art form like drawing, sketching, graphic designing, or whatever it is.
Go back to the first day when you did it.
You were terrible, right?
You were so embarrassed of yourself. You were so ashamed of yourself.
Worse, if you are learning with people, then you are thinking - they're laughing at me inside their head.
So you are in this mode where you are feeling embarrassed, you feel like you don't want to do this.
And the ONLY THING that relieves you of that embarrassment is to show up again the next day and to do that task repeatedly so that you get comfortable with whatever is happening to you.

The exact same way you deal with failure as well.
Failure is a muscle.
It's a muscle that you build over time.
And ironically, the only way to build failure as a muscle is to fail.
As often as you can.
I will say that again - the only way to get comfortable with failing is to actually fail as often as you can.

Fail every day.
Do something that scares you, that challenges you, that you are intimidated by.
And the cost of that feeling is very low.

For example, say hi and good morning and smile at somebody who is a complete stranger in the elevator.
Go and ask for money from a stranger at a mall.
Go and ask your boss for a favor that you know they will refuse.

You should be scared of hearing a no. Scared of feeling that rejection.
And if you put yourself in that spot and do it repeatedly, you will be surprised, my friend, at how much these trivial failures will make you more and more comfortable about the real failure, as and when you encounter it in your life.

Because here's the truth.
Everybody in this world will fail. Every single one of us will fail one day.
The difference is not whether we will fail or not.
The difference is how do we pick ourselves up once we have failed.

Build failure just the same way that you would build any other muscle.


BOOK I AM READING THIS WEEK

Dropped reading Seinfeldia: How a Show About Nothing Changed Everything.
It got really boring after a point and I lost the enthusiasm.

Started reading When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress by Gabor Mate.
Gabor is considered an expert in trauma, addiction and stress and is a really captivating speaker. This book came highly recommended and I quite liked it because it just proved how stress in our life is not just an emotional experience - it is a physical experience. It decays our body, not just our mind and soul.

I AM COMING LIVE TO YOUR CITY
26th Feb Delhi (ALMOST SOLD OUT)
4th March Kolkata
11th March Ahmedabad
18th March Hyderabad

QUOTES TO SHARE

The most dangerous people are those who don’t realize how dangerous they are.
(Share on Twitter)​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Want to grow as a person? Stop seeking attention.
(Share on Twitter)​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

How one behaves waiting in a line, tells you so much about them.
(Share on Twitter)​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

RESPONSES TO LAST WEEK'S QUESTION

Last week I asked you:

Which of these is true for you?
1. On a daily basis, I text more than I talk
2. On a daily basis, I talk more than I text

Here are the results

Super interesting - while young, we tend to talk more than text (this btw includes voice notes which is a BIG thing for young folks). And we get older, we tend to text more than talk.
This goes back to a video I had released on YouTube around 6 graphs on life.
As we grow old, we tend to spend a lot more time with ourselves, by ourselves.

My answer:
I certainly text more than talk. Emails and WhatsApp is my dominant form of communication :)

PICTURE OF THE WEEK

The Bangalore LIVE event was INSANE. Despite the traffic, I love the city. It was so much fun :))
4 cities planned now:
26th Feb Delhi
4th March Kolkata
11th March Ahmedabad
18th March Hyderabad

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

Where are you right now, in life?

  • I am scared about my future
  • I am excited about my future
  • I am scared AND excited about my future
  • I feel nothing about my future

Click here here to let me know your answer and check the answers of others too.

CONTENT I SHARED THIS WEEK

Podcast:
Vacations | Chhuttiyaan (not what you read!)
Spotify, Amazon Music, Google Podcast, Apple Podcast, JioSaavn, Gaana or YouTube.

YouTube:
How to get rich?

Instagram:
3 lessons from Anjana Anjaani

Twitter:
What your parents did to you was not your fault

You can, of course, always write to me by simply replying to this newsletter.

I love reading all your emails, even though I may not be able to reply to them all.
Yes! I READ ALL MY EMAILS. ALL OF THEM.
(Jaise hi zindagi sahi karna shuru karo to dost khone ki kasam)

You can share this newsletter on WhatsApp, Twitter, LinkedIn, or view it on the web.

warikoo Wanderings

by Ankur Warikoo

Entrepreneur, Author, Content Creator with 9M+ followers across platforms. I share this newsletter every Friday around personal growth, books, quotes, pictures - it is the most personal version of me online.

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