warikoo Wanderings

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HELP

Asking for help is difficult for most people.
And I have often wondered why.

Come to think of it, the reason we are the most dominant species on earth is because we have the ability to help others. Even those we do not know. We have the ability to organize ourselves as a collective, even if there is no prior relationship.
Here is an example. Everyday, you walk around buying things through something called money. Which is basically a piece of paper.
Yet, people trust you with it. Because there is a system of trust that has been built, that allows us to trust and thus help each other.
You need help with a certain product. You give money and ask for that help. The other person, who doesn’t even know you, offers that help in the form of the product.
Voila! It worked.
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But it doesn’t always.
What if there is no system of trust and help built?
For example, asking for help in a work setting.
You will ask for help from those you know, but asking for help from strangers in a work environment can be terrifying.
We come up with all sorts of reasons not to.
“What will they think of me?”
“They will think I am a loser who doesn’t know anything.”
“They will assume I got through by luck or connections, not by merit.”

All sorts of vivid imaginations paralyze us, when seeking help.
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And then there is the worst reason of all.
Being made fun of.
Being mocked for asking for help.
Because only weak people ask for help.
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2 weeks back, I asked for help.
It was regarding my UK visa. We had applied as a family of 6, 2 of whom got the visa in 10 days, while the other 4 hadn’t even after 8 weeks.
At the time of applying, the process mentioned 6 weeks to get a visa, so we followed the process and waited patiently.
With our impending flight though, we had to know to which date should we change our flights to, if we have to, at all.
I was hoping someone from the process could help me with it.
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What followed was fascinating.
There was public shaming of the fact that the one who speaks of “do epic shit” and endorses the power of cold emails, was asking for help.
“Whatever happened to your own teachings?”

Which btw is all fine, because people are entitled to their opinion.
What was fascinating, though, was the impact on people who genuinely wanted to help, or seek help for themselves.
All of them became secretive, hiding themselves from the mob.
They tried to help in a hush-hush way, and those seeking help shuddered to ask for it publicly.
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Which is when it was evident.
We all want to seek help.
But when we are mocked for doing so, we sheepishly retract.
And that sets the rhythm for life.
Where we fear seeking help the next time around.
Even worse, we fear helping others, should the one ridiculing come after us as well.
The trolls drive away the good.
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Remind yourself of these 3 things then:

1. If you are in a place where you feel no fear in seeking help, that is a massive privilege. Be grateful for it. Nurture it even further.
2. If you can help someone, always help. It might be insignificant in your head, but what you ignore is the courage you lend to others to also help.
3. Do not worry about what people will say, when you seek help. Instead, imagine who will you be, when you are helped.

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BOOK I AM READING THIS WEEK

Still reading The Last Lecture: Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams​
While travelling, this book is such a great companion because it is a constant reminder of how privileged and blessed you are, to live your life the way you do.

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​My book has now sold 148,000+ copies, which is 140,000+ more than I had imagined it ever would! You can buy an original copy of DO EPIC SHIT here.​

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QUOTES TO SHARE

​​Do not worry about what people will say, when you seek help. Instead, imagine who will you be, when you are helped.
​(Share on Twitter)​​

Plan in real-time
Execute in time lapse
Reflect in slow motion
​​(Share on Twitter)​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

The pleasure you derive by blaming someone else, is misleading.
You are still where you do not want to be.
​​(Share on Twitter)​​​​​​​​​​

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RESPONSES TO LAST WEEK'S QUESTION

I am traveling and will not be able to process last week’s question. Will do so upon return :))

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PICTURE OF THE WEEK

Nothing is more serene than lakes in the middle of mountains!!

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QUESTION OF THE WEEK

No question this week! Yay! Feels like the free period granted in school, which came as a surprise. Haha.

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CONTENT I SHARED THIS WEEK

Podcast:​
Title of episode: Offering help
​Spotify, Amazon Music, Google Podcast, Apple Podcast, JioSaavn, Gaana or YouTube.

YouTube:​
Money talks with Aman Dhattarwal
​You can watch it here.​

Instagram:​
Overthinking? Watch this!
​You can watch it here.​

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You can, of course, always write to me by simply replying to this newsletter.

I love reading all your emails, even though I may not be able to reply to them all.
Yes! I READ ALL MY EMAILS. ALL OF THEM.
​​​(Khud se pyaar karne ki kasam)

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