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warikoo Wanderings

I am sorry

Published over 1 year ago • 3 min read

warikoo Wanderings

You can share this newsletter on WhatsApp, Twitter, LinkedIn, or view it on the web.
Pre-order a signed copy of my new book - Get Epic Shit Done.
You can view all previous newsletters here.

SEEKING AN APOLOGY IS AN ART FEW PEOPLE KNOW OF

5 ways through which people spoil an apology.

1. By adding an excuse
When you are apologizing, you are expressing regret over what you did.
However, the second you add why you did what you did, you are trying to save yourself.
You are thinking 'I hope the person still thinks good about me.'
Which takes away the purity with which you should apologize.

2. By blaming yourself
So many people apologize by saying 'I am a bad person', 'I am horrible', 'I am so wrong'.
That is a manipulative apology.
Because instead of focusing on what you did and apologizing for that, you are focusing on who you are as a person, as if suggesting 'I am a bad person so please expect me to do bad things.'
It is deflecting blame, while giving a sense of owning to the blame.

3. By blaming them
How often have you heard an apology that goes 'I am sorry you felt this way'.
What is actually being said is 'I am sorry that you are hurt by my perfectly reasonable behavior'.
The job of an apology is to own up, not to transfer the blame onto them!

4. By suggesting that nothing might have happened
I am sure you have heard this from corporates - "We apologize for any inconvenience we may have caused." EVEN WHEN they know an inconvenience has been caused.
This is the worst apology of all. Because it seems to suggest that the other person may be dreaming about something that's happened, when in some parallel universe nothing really happened. So why the over-reaction?

5. By adding a but
"I am sorry I reacted but you have done this so many times before."
The truth is - the minute you add a but to an apology, the apology is destroyed!

An apology is the biggest diffuser in this world.
SO many unnecessary wars, debates, arguments, breakups and misunderstandings would have never happened, if someone had truly apologized.
Just said sorry.
"I am sorry. And I will be mindful to not repeat this again."

That is all it takes.
Be the person giving it.
Become the person gracefully receiving it.

BOOK I AM READING THIS WEEK

Still reading Binge Times: Inside Hollywood's Furious Billion-Dollar Battle to Take Down Netflix.

Quite gripping. I love business stories :)

My second book 'GET EPIC SHIT DONE' is now out.
1. It is NOT a sequel to Do Epic Shit. Both books are independent.
2. In GET EPIC SHIT DONE I answer 36 life questions narrated in a QnA format between a student and a teacher.
3. About 2K signed copies are left. Once over there will be no more signed copies available.
Pre-order now

QUOTES TO SHARE

To express anger, write angry letters. And don't send them!
​(Share on Twitter)​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

We can never be understood. We can only be heard.
​(Share on Twitter)​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Start taking your life seriously and you start losing your friends.
​(Share on Twitter)​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

RESPONSES TO LAST WEEK'S QUESTION

Last week I asked you:

Do you believe in God?

  1. Yes
  2. No
  3. I am not sure

Here are the responses:

Observations:

  • So there are 2 ways to look at this data:
    • Young people tend to not believe in God and then as you grow older you begin to believe, or
    • Over the years, India has moved from being a dominant faith based country to slightly lesser (for several reasons - including prosperity. Research shows that economic prosperity and religious beliefs are inversely correlated).
  • I find the graph fascinating though! How over the years, 'I am not sure' progressively moves to either yes or no. Which means we become clearer in our beliefs.

My response?
I do not believe in God. I grew up praying, believing and at some point I realized that it stemmed from my need for comfort, support and destiny. And had nothing to do with the actual presence of God. It was a selfish reason to believe.

PICTURE OF THE WEEK

Was at Ashoka University last week, where I (finally) met Bhumika. Bhumika was an intern at wariCrew, managing product and tech and support for all courses. She then joined Ashoka and as things got hectic for her, she wisely decided to focus on studies full time. We had never met and it was so good to finally do so :))

My second book GET EPIC SHIT DONE is out now. Some 2,000 signed copies left. Pre-order now

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

Do you believe in destiny? That everything is written beforehand?

  1. Yes
  2. No
  3. I am not sure

​Click here to let me know your answer (anonymously)​​​​

CONTENT I SHARED HIS WEEK

Podcast:
Your relationship with your parents
Spotify, Amazon Music, Google Podcast, Apple Podcast, JioSaavn, Gaana or YouTube.

YouTube:
7 habits for massive success
You can watch it here.

Instagram:
3 things to do before 2022 ends
You can watch it here.

Twitter:
11 shocking facts about money

You can, of course, always write to me by simply replying to this newsletter.

I love reading all your emails, even though I may not be able to reply to them all.
Yes! I READ ALL MY EMAILS. ALL OF THEM.
(Santara cheelne ki khushbu ki kasam)

You can share this newsletter on WhatsApp, Twitter, LinkedIn, or view it on the web.

warikoo Wanderings

by Ankur Warikoo

Entrepreneur, Author, Content Creator with 9M+ followers across platforms. I share this newsletter every Friday around personal growth, books, quotes, pictures - it is the most personal version of me online.

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