warikoo Wanderings

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Welcome to the last edition of Wanderings for 2020. When I started the newsletter on July 10th, 2020 I had no target or goal for the newsletter. I just wanted a way where I could connect with each one of you without being limited by some social media algorithm.

So I signed up for the habit. A newsletter every Friday! And let's see where it goes.

Today, this newsletter goes to 24,000+ people every week, which is WAY more than I had imagined it to reach in just 6 months.

And that is why,

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DO NOT SET GOALS. INSTEAD, SET HABITS

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For the longest time in my life, I had a clear goal.
I knew what I wanted from life, I knew how to get it and I knew how I was doing on it.

I wanted to be a space scientist, work at NASA. That was my goal.
And everything that I did in life, while growing up, was towards this goal. Towards this target.

I went to the US for my PhD. On a full scholarship. In fact, I was getting a stipend to study.
I started my course, was on top of my class and everyone thought that I would finish my PhD in record time.

Except, that something was missing!
I was good with what I was doing. But I wasn't happy.
And that was strange, because all my life I had been told - if you are good at something you automatically become happy doing it.
Wasn't the case with me.

So I dropped out of my PhD and at the age of 24 came back to India.
No plans. No direction. No idea what to do next.

And at that point, I had two choices in life.
Plan A didn't work, so come up with Plan B. Set a new goal, a new target.
Or, as crazy as it sounded, was it possible to live life without a plan, without a goal, without a target?

And I decided to do just that!

The thing with goals is - we have no basis for setting them.
Mostly goals are what we want in life. And that doesn't mean they are what we should go after, or what we can even get.
So when we hit those goals, we feel great about ourselves.
And when we don't, we feel like the biggest losers on the planet.

Both these sentiments are false! Because we don't know if we set the right goal in the first place or not.

Instead, set habits.

Things that you do every day, every week, every month, every year.
In a disciplined fashion.

Because these habits compound over time to make you reach goals and targets that you couldn't have set for yourself!

Want to publish a book?
Don't set that goal. Instead set a habit of writing everyday.

Want to lose weight?
Don't set a weight goal. Instead set a habit of working out everyday.

Want to get a great job?
Don't set a job goal. Instead set a habit of connecting with people on LinkedIn and Twitter everyday.

And that is why, the best thing you can do for yourself in 2021 is to NOT set a resolution or a goal or a target.

Instead, set a habit.
Promise yourself and commit yourself to a habit.

And then see the magic of habits take over.

PS1: This is also the fundamental thesis of one of the best books ever - Atomic Habits, by James Clear. If you want to read just one book in 2021, make sure this is it!

PS2: You can share this newsletter on WhatsApp, by clicking here.

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THE BOOK I (RE)READ THIS WEEK

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I read 2 books this week.

One of them was a re-read - Meditations by Marcus Aurelius​
Aurelius was a Roman Emperor and wrote a journal, which was never meant to be made public.
It was eventually made public - through a set of 12 books and Meditations is a summary of his writings.
In my opinion it is one of the most powerful journals that the world has ever seen. So much of what Aurelius wrote applies even today, which is crazy considering that he wrote them thousands of years back.

It is a deep book, a tough one to read and remains one of my personal favorites.

The other book I picked up (but am yet to finish) is Being Mortal by Atul Gawande.
It is a very interesting book on mortality and how the medical profession looks at old and terminally ill people. The start looks promising. Let us see where it goes.

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SHAREABLE QUOTES

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It is better to be busy in the chase of finding yourself, instead of being busy in the rat race of never knowing yourself.
​(Share on Twitter)​

Don't pretend to be someone else. Be yourself and then ask, who all does this appeal to?
​(Share on Twitter)​

If you are not having fun while doing it, people will see through it.
​(Share on Twitter)​

We own the screen we own. Not the other way around!
​(Share on Twitter)​

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RESPONSES TO LAST WEEK'S QUESTION

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Last week, I asked all of you:

What will you choose and why?

1. Once I am dead, I would not want to leave anything behind for my kids. They have to build for themselves.
2. All that I build in my life, is for my kids.
3. I don't intend to have any kids.

Not surprisingly, an overwhelming majority (close to 60%) opted for option 2. Which is just the way we have been trained to think and operate. Nothing wrong in it. Nothing right as well.

Another 30% opted for 1 - with the caveat that they would want to ensure their kids go through a stable education. I think that is very fair and reasonable. And also responsible parenting.

10% opted for no kids and an overwhelming majority of those were women (I figured from their names). Which is so encouraging because for the longest time women were not even part of making this decision.

Personally for me, I will choose option 1. Beyond an education, we are very clear that our responsibility as parents is to share with them our experiences, our love and our values. And our kids have to design and build their own life. There will be no legacy waiting for them.

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QUESTION FOR THIS WEEK

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What would be a habit you would promise to build in 2021?

Simply reply to this email with your answer. I read all my emails. ALL of them. Super Commando Dhruv ki kasam!

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Wish you all a wonderful wonderful 2021. 2020 was hard for a lot of us and definitely taught us a lot. I hope all of you enter the next year with enthusiasm, good health, hope and excitement.
All the best for it. Thank you for your time, your patience, your feedback and above all, your support through this year.

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​You can share this newsletter on WhatsApp, by clicking here.