warikoo Wanderings

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My book "DO EPIC SHIT" is about to touch 100K copies sold, which is crazy because I had thought no more than 5K will sell! If you haven't yet bought a copy, you can now and join the 100K community. Order your copy here.​

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WHY HAS THIS GENERATION FALLEN PREY TO COMPARISON?

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I am often asked, why is GenZ perpetually anxious and worried?
They are living in a world where they have everything they would want.
Isn't that a better world than what we were living in?
And doesn't that mean they should be happier?

I think I have an explanation.

When I was growing up, my world was limited.
There was no Internet (yes, there was a world like that!)
There was no instant communication.
Letters used to take days.
TV/News was the only instant mode of getting to know what's happening.
And that, too, was about the world. Not about the people I knew.

People I knew were limited.
Friends from school.
Some from my colony.
Max 50-60 people.
And if there was ever any comparison to make, it was at best with them.
"Sharma ji ka beta" was not a figment of imagination. It was a real character :)

And then in 2000s the world exploded.
Social networks came along.
We loved adding our friends. Even those who were "just friends".
And now, all of a sudden, our world expanded.
We didn't have 50 friends anymore.
We had 500!

That was the decade when we were ALWAYS aware of what's happening in our friends' lives.
Their vacations, their purchases, their college, their love interests - all were available to us in real-time.
We felt a lot of emotions witnessing them, and even if those emotions didn't help us, we couldn't resist tracking their lives.

This continued for a decade.

And then the next big explosion happened.

Social networks realized that we were getting uninterested in our friends.
After all, how much of these so-called friends would we want to track.
So, the network came up with an ingenious idea.
What if EVERYONE in the world could become your friend?
What if their lives could be relayed to you, even if you did not know them?
What if we were randomly shown what others are up to?

And that's the world we live in today.
The world that the current GenZ has grown up on!
The world where "Sharma ji ka beta" is a character we do not know of.
We just know that someone out there exists and is killing it in life.
People are earning crores at 16, performing in front of thousands, scoring 99.9% in their exams, a published author, already an entrepreneur, cracked a $200K job at a global tech giant.
And here you are, still lost!

For no fault of yours, the comparison set increased from 50 during my time, to 500 - 10 years back and now is 5 billion!
Everyone on the internet is a potential creator.
And a potential "Sharma ji ka beta" that you will continue to compare yourself with.

There is no escaping from this.
This is not going to go away.
You will invariably come across people who are doing better than you.
Millions of people!
The truth is, they always existed.
Just that during my time, I didn't even know of them.
But now you do.

So how do we handle this?
How do we escape this trap of comparison?

Firstly, by realizing that, we are not in a race.
We are not competing with anyone else.
There is ONLY ONE PERSON who has the same flaws, the same strengths, the same upbringing, the same values and the same worldview as you.
And that is YOU!
When you compare yourself with someone else, you compare a very small part of their life with yours.
While ignoring everything else.

I would love to have SRK's charm and Federer's athlete body. But am I ready to take on their entire life as mine? No!

Secondly, by knowing that EVERYONE is comparing.
You think Bill Gates doesn't compare himself?
He may not compare himself when it comes to wealth, but I am certain he feels someone out there is making more impact in the world than he is. Or is smarter than he is. Or whatever else!
Because everyone is comparing, what you are feeling is not alone.
Don't think you are losing.
Everyone at some point in their life thinks they are losing.
Winners are simply that focus on that one big win (check quote below).

It is not your fault that you have been dumped into a world orchestrated to compare!
But it is your responsibility to resist the temptation to compare.

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BOOK I AM READING THIS WEEK

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This week I am (still) reading Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion​
It is an intense book and if I find myself spilling over a week for a book, it is usually a good sign.
I am loving the book. Incredibly insightful.

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QUOTES TO SHARE

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We don't have to win everyday. We just have to win once.
But for that, we might have to lose everyday, until the day we win!
​(Share on Twitter)​

People do what’s comfortable for them. Not what’s right for you.
​(Share on Twitter)​

The responsibility of parents is to teach their kids to be responsible.
​(Share on Twitter)​

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RESPONSES TO LAST WEEK'S QUESTION

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Last week I asked you:

When was the last time you cried?

1. Today
2. This week
3. This month
4. In the last 12 months
5. Do not remember

Here are the results:

Evidentially, there is no marked difference in our crying patterns, according to age. I didn't even expect it frankly.
But this should make you not feel like a loser, for crying. All of us. And it is normal. Perfectly normal!

I did leave an optional question in the survey, where I asked if you were ok to share why you cried. The responses were heartwarming, tragic and telling - all in one.

Here is one I wanted to share:

"i don't want to share why i cried but will mention that i cried after a long time, and i was happy at last i did. idk i just wanted to, been going through a rough patch lately and i was avoiding crying or was not able to but finally it happened. now I am on a new start.

i don't know if someone will read this or not but it feels good when i say whatever is in my mind, without being concerned what would the listener say...as if i wanted someone to ask me all such questions and thanks that you are doing that. :)"

I am glad it helped. I am glad you cried.
I am glad :)

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PICTURE OF THE WEEK

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Weekend cooking with the kids :)
We were making pasta, and garlic bread with cheese. And yes, it was yummy!

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THIS WEEK'S QUESTION

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When was the last time you said "I love you" to anyone (including yourself)?

1. Today
2. This week
3. This month
4. In the last 12 months
5. Do not remember

​Click here to let me know your answer (anonymously)​​​​​

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CONTENT I SHARED THIS WEEK

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Podcast:​
Title of episode: How to handle disagreements?
​Spotify, Amazon Music, Google Podcast, Apple Podcast, JioSaavn or Gaana.

YouTube:​
Title of video: Complete Guide to Personal taxes
​You can watch it here.​

Instagram:​
Title of video: STOP believing this lie
​You can watch it here.​

Twitter:​
Title of thread: 3 Qualities for every role we play in life
​You can read it here.​

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You can, of course, always write to me by simply replying to this newsletter.

I love reading all your emails, even though I may not be able to reply to them all.
Yes! I READ ALL MY EMAILS. ALL OF THEM.
​​​(Bombay waalon ke Goa se jitna pyaar hai, uski kasam!)

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