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You don't say this to a dying person

publishedover 1 year ago
4 min read

warikoo Wanderings

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BTW - do you know that I have introduced a new section in the newsletter called "picture of the week", which is the last section in the email. Do remember to check it out :)

Would you say these things to a dying person?

Dear students, welcome to today's class.
Today, I want you all to imagine that someone close to you is dying.
And then I want you to think of sentences that YOU SHOULD NOT say to that dying person.
Alright, who is going to start first?
Yes, Rahul - go ahead.

"Don't you think you lived quite a boring life?"

Very good, Rahul. That is certainly something you would not want to ever say to a dying person.
OK, who's next?
Yes, Neha, go ahead.

"If only you had worked harder, no?"

Excellent, Neha. That would be such a terrible thing to say to a dying person.
Yes, Rohan?

"Why do you think you didn't make it in life?"

OMG. That's so good, that I pray no one dying ever gets to hear this.
OK, one final one. Who will go next?
Yes Deepthi, share please.

"How does it feel to know you won't be able to fix your mistakes ever?"

My god, Deepthi. How sinister. Thanks for sharing and please do not share this with anyone dying, OK?

Well done, class. I am so proud of you.
These are 4 great examples of things you would NEVER say to anyone dying.

Now, tell me something, what is the difference between dying and failing?
No one?

Ok, let me tell you.
There isn't much difference between dying and failing.
When we are dying, the biggest emotion is that we will cease to exist any moment now.
That we won't get another chance.
That we have done all that we could and it's now over.

What happens when we fail?
When we fail, the biggest emotion is that all that we were working towards will cease to exist now.
We feel we won't get another chance.
We feel we did all that we could and it's now all over.

Let's go back to the 4 things you all shared, as examples of something one wouldn't say to a dying person.

"Don't you think you lived quite a boring life?"
"If only you had worked harder, no?"
"Why do you think you didn't make it in life?"
"How does it feel to know you won't be able to fix your mistakes ever?"

If you wouldn't say these to a dying person, I am telling you, don't say these words to someone who has failed.

When someone fails, do not remind them of their failure, do not blame them for their failure, do not make them aware that they have lost a chance, do not judge them for failing.
Be there for them.

And if you wouldn't say this to ANYONE who has failed, then the first person in that list is...?
Does someone want to answer that?
Who is the first person in that list?
Yes, Ankur.

"Our own selves"

Excellent Ankur. You are so smart. The smartest kid actually. So smart that aankhon mein aansu aa jaate hain, khushi ke, when I watch you. You are such a blessing. Matlab, god level. Or as you kids say it nowadays, OG and all. Mazaa aa gaya.
(Sorry, I went overboard with the self-praise)


We fail.
We feel terrible.
And then we say those exact same things to ourselves, that we wouldn't say to ANYONE ELSE.
We torture ourselves.
The same story plays on a loop, in our head.
We should have been our best friend.
We become our worst enemy.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

The "art" of overthinking

This week's podcast episode is on overthinking - explaining why we tend to overthink the bad more than the good, and what's the best way to solve it.

Give it a listen on Spotify, Amazon Music, Google Podcast, Apple Podcast, JioSaavn or Gaana.
My podcasts are now on YouTube as well - because so many of you asked for it.

Book I am reading this week

Took a break from reading this week. No new books picked. But have a bunch of them lined up. Excited about the ones coming up :)

In the meantime, here is a link of 20 books that I helped me more than school or college ever did!

Quotes to share

Ones who continue to grow in life are not the ones who make the best decisions.
Instead, they are quick to change their decisions, once they stop growing.
(Share on Twitter)

It has become increasingly easy to start a company, to raise money, have a fancy office, great perks, get press, massive valuations, free lunch and bean bags.
It remains intensely tough to build an institution where people love to come to work.
(Share on Twitter)

You are in love with yourself, when you are not affected by what people think of you.
(Share on Twitter)

The battle is in the mind.
(Share on Twitter)

When young, we will experience short-term pain. Because we are learning new things, forming new relationships, discovering a new self, facing your fears.
If we avoid this short-term pain it converts into long-term regret.
(Share on Twitter)

Question for this week

Do you celebrate festivals?

  1. Yes, I love them
  2. Yes, because family asks me to
  3. No

Click here to let me know your answer (anonymously)​​​

You can always write to me, by simply replying to this newsletter.
I love reading all your emails, even though I may not be able to reply to them all.
​​(Sardiyon mein subah subah steel ke glass mein garam garam paani peene mein jo mazaa aata hai, uski kasam!)

Content I shared this week

How to retire by your 30s (YouTube)

My Weekly Schedule (YouTube)

How to gift stocks (YouTube)

5 signs of a toxic job (LinkedIn)

Top platform most people spend their time on (LinkedIn)

Same words, different meaning (Reel)

AMA on travelling (IGTV)

Bollywood and Punjabi performance (IGTV)

Pic of the week

I shared an image of all the investing apps I use, on Twitter this week. Thought I would share it here as well.

I use
Zerodha - for investing in India stocks
smallcase - for investing in a portfolio of stocks
INDMoney - to track all my investments and to invest in US Stocks
Coin - to invest in mutual funds
Vested - to invest in US Stocks
WazirX - to buy crypto in India
Vauld - to store Crypto in Fixed Deposits (Yes, I do FDs :))
Binance - to buy Crypto globally
CoinSwitch - used to use, not anymore

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