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Difficult relationships

I was speaking to a friend caught in a difficult relationship.
- Witnessing a different side of his partner.
- Incessant fights.
- Frustrated that she doesn’t see what’s wrong with her.
- Shocked and surprised that she feels he is wrong.

Here is exactly what I told him:

There are three reactions to a difficult relationship

1/
I don’t want this drama in my life.
I shouldn’t have to deal with this.
I can no longer take this.
I am out!

2/
I love you.
I realize that your reaction is because of your pain that you do not yet understand how to deal with.
I am hoping you will learn.
Until then, I am with you.
I am in!

3/
There is something fundamentally wrong with you.
Here is what it is.
Here is what you need to do to fix it.
Here is why you need to change.
If you don’t, this won’t work.
Are you in or out?

The first 2 are rational approaches.
It is completely okay to want to walk out of a difficult relationship or want to support your partner in one.

The third one is completely irrational!
Bound to fail.
And you, my friend, are on that third path.

Either move on from her or move in with her.
But don’t try to change her.
Don’t try to change anybody.
You wouldn’t change for anybody else if told to. So, why do you expect someone else to?

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People only change when THEY feel the need to change.
Not when they are told to change.
​(Share on X)​

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- Fully remote role
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Please apply, or share with someone you know - here is the link​

Book I am reading this week

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Finished reading The Money Trap: Grand Fortunes and Lost Illusions Inside the Tech Bubble by Alok Sama.
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This is the book of the year for me.
For two reasons.
One: it was extremely relatable because Alok worked in the same industry as I did. In fact, a lot of people mentioned in the book are those I personally know or have worked with. So the relatability was max.
Two: it is a delightfully written book. I figured why — Alok, after resigning as the CFO of Softbank, actually went to NYU for a course in creative writing. That is so cool! And so impressive that one would do that, at his age.

I enjoyed the book thoroughly. It is witty, straight talk, soulful, and gripping in its narration of what happened behind the scenes of the world's largest tech investment company.

If you like tech, if you like non-fiction, if you like biographies - this one is for you.

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My 3rd book, Make Epic Money, has sold 1,26,000+ copies in India with a 4.4+ rating. You can buy it in Hindi, English, Marathi, Audio, and Kindle here.
The book has also been converted into a video course (in Hindi and English) - that you can check out here.
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​Here is an alphabetical list of all books I have shared in this newsletter so far.

Question of the week

If not your home country, if you had a chance, which other country would you like to stay in?

• USA
• UK+Western Europe
• Canada
• Australia
• UAE
• Singapore

(and see the results of others, too)

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Results of last week's question

While most are extremely proud to be an Indian, notice the share of "Not so proud" and "Not proud at all". It peaks at a young age and then goes down. That is usually what happens with almost everything that you are born with or into. There is a sense of rebellion and dismissal early on because you didn't actively choose it. Over time you settle, because you are exposed to a lot more and you realize it isn't as bad as you thought it was.
​My response?​
I am not proud to be an Indian, because I attach pride to something I have worked for. I really like India - adore it, in fact. I am glad I am Indian, but calling myself proud would be pompous, in my opinion. :))
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3-2-1
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3 pics from last week

Had an awesome chat with Nalina (Marketing head at ServiceNow) and Vishal (NVIDIA South Asia MD) on Gen AI and its future.

Met one of my fav people - Joel - who was my peer at Groupon and is from Malaysia. We were meeting after 10+ years and it was so awesome catching up on life :))

We just finished a society-level swimming competition. These are some of the winners :))
Sports brings people together in a wonderful way.

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2 quotes I wish to share

Attitude >> Experience >> Education
The only hiring principle I know of.

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Don't pick up a book to escape from your world.
Pick it up to understand your world.

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1 new thing I learnt this week

90% of organ donors in India who are spouses are wives. Only 10% are husbands.
In the case of parent organ donors, over 70% are mothers, while 30% are fathers.
80% of organs donated in India are for men. 20% are for women.

Harsh, stark truth!
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🎙️ My top content from last week
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📹 YouTube:​ Don't make these investing mistakes​

📱 Instagram: 2-2-2 rule for maintaining good friendship​

🐥 Twitter: The unusual hiring process we follow at WebVeda​

🎧 Podcast: Action​
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You can, of course, always write to me by simply replying to this newsletter.

I love reading all your emails, even though I may not be able to reply to them all.
Yes! I READ ALL MY EMAILS. ALL OF THEM.​
​(October mein meethi meethi thand shuru ho jaane ki kasam)

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